Have Kids And About To Remarry? Here's Why You May Need Family Counseling
If you are about to get married but have kids from a previous marriage, you may think that everyone will get along over time. While positive relationships are possible, there may be underlying feelings which need to be addressed now before your new marriage starts. To make sure that everyone's feelings are considered and that all the relationships are on good footing, here are some reasons your family might need counseling.
Repairing Your Relationship with Your Ex Spouse
You may not be on great terms with your ex, but the news of a new marriage can make them even more uncomfortable and it may be almost impossible to communicate effectively with them. With family counseling, you and your ex, perhaps even the two of you and your soon-to-be new spouse can sit down and learn techniques that will support a respectful relationship.
Encouraging Your New Spouse's Relationship with Your Children
The person you are about to marry may be in love with you and accepting of your children, but it is important to make sure that they know their role in parenting of the kids, if any, and how best to interact with them. A family counselor can walk you and them through these issues before there is a problem with them attempting to discipline the kids, for instance.
Your soon-to-be new spouse may even have difficulty with the amount of time you spend with your children, especially if they don't have children of their own. Therapy can help them to understand the roots of their feelings and help them communicate their needs to you without causing hurt feelings or arguments.
Helping Your Children with Their Feelings
Of special importance are the feelings of your children. They may still have loyalty toward their other parent, which can cause them to be a little hostile toward your soon-to-be new spouse. A good counselor can help your children to process those feelings so that they are able to welcome your new spouse into the fold without feeling they are hurting their other parent.
And, just as your new spouse might feel a bit jealous of the time you spend with your children, the kids may harbor some resentment toward you because your time cannot be spent with them all the time. A family counselor can help you come up with solutions to help them feel loved; for instance, they can help you design a schedule where you always spend a particular day with your kids.
Because of all the relationships and issues involved when you blend families together, counseling can be helpful in many ways. Don't just assume everything will be fine; talk to a family counselor, like Andover Counseling Center, so that your family can be as strong as possible.