Four Ways To Improve Your Marriage

Great marriages don't just happen. They require creativity, skill, and hard work. Here are four things you can do to improve your relationship with your spouse.

1. Be vulnerable. It is scary. It is hard. However, it is one of the most important things you can do in a marriage. Tell your spouse what you are feeling. Ask them for what you need. Talk about your fears and your insecurities. Connect on a deep level frequently. While there will be times your spouse will hurt you, you won't be able to create a lasting relationship if you don't allow yourself to be vulnerable. 

2. See a marriage counselor yearly. You go to the dentist every six months and to the doctor every year. Why not see a counselor, as well? Even if your marriage is doing well, they can give you advice on how you can improve it. You can talk about forgiveness, vulnerability, communication, sex, parenthood, dating, financial concerns (how you talk about them), stagnation, whatever you want. The counselor can help you avoid common pitfalls and push you to deepen your relationship.

3. Pick a hobby you can do together. While dates are important, it is more important to find something that you enjoy doing together. You can certainly incorporate it in your dates, but you can also talk about it while you are at home. Marriages can stagnate if you don't find new ways to connect and fun things to talk about. You could:

• take photography classes and go on photo walks together
• start a couples reading club or find some books to read out loud together 
• pick up a new sport like tennis, basketball (put up a hoop in your yard), or badminton
• take some dance classes at a local gym or recreation center
• learn to draw, paint, or sculpt together

4. Study communication. Watch videos, read books, take classes, become an expert. Not only will it help you in your marriage, it will help you in all your relationships. Learn how to listen to your partner and how to communicate your feelings clearly. Never assume you know what your spouse is thinking or feeling. Don't make your partner guess what you need. Keep the lines of communication open so you can stay connected. If you start to feel like you can't talk openly, see a counselor for advice as soon as you can. 

If you do these four things, you will have a stronger, deeper relationship with your spouse. For more information on marriage counseling, contact a professional like Drake Counseling Services.

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